I’m happy to say that everything is A-Okay. The head scans came back and the hamster is still on that wheel. He’s running like the dickens and my brain is functioning at full capacity. Of course, now you know my little secret. I’m really just a fleshy robot shell being controlled by what would normally be considered a pet. I don’t really know how he got in there, but he’s like a tyrant making me do whatever he wants. I can’t eat anything unless it’s in pellet form, driving is terrifying since apparently he’s a British hamster and hasn’t gotten used to what side of the road to use, and I’m not even gonna tell you what happened the last time we went into a pet store. Please help me.
You know the worst part; he makes me call him Krang. How degrading is that?