No credit! Bad credit! Live in a tree? It doesn’t matter! You’re pre-approved! No fuss. No muss. No paperwork. We haven’t turned anyone away yet. It’s stress-free, hassle-free, but best of all, it’s full of big furry love. Adorable koala bears are standing by.
What’s that, now? You want money? Absolutely not! Your credit history is an absolute nightmare. It is your lucky day, however. Your crappy credit score qualifies you for two hugs. Still a big no on the money, though.