If that doesn’t work out, they go well with vodka.
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When Life Gives You Lemons, Destroy Capitalism
Quote
“That whale’s a dick.” —Captain Ahab
Nothing exists in itself, except for this bloated mammal’s head existing up its own ass.
Always a George, Never a Jerry
My life is the complete opposite of everything I wanted to be.
I Drink and I Know Things.
I’m Surrounded by Assholes
“I Never Said That.” -Jesus
Make Like a Tree and Get Outta Here!
“Almost, Biff. Almost.” by Phil Jones & Molly Augustin.
Coffee is for Closers
A Couple of Dorks
They’re your clothes, motherfucker.
[via]
Alright, Alright, Alright.
Three words that defined a generation, and one actor’s career.
Matthew McConaughey on the origin of the famous phrase:
“I Got Five On It.” -Abraham Lincoln
I’m Not Even Supposed To Be Here Today
Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal
In case you find yourself Home Alone this Christmas.
– Also available in green
What Is Best In Life?
To crush your enemies. See them driven before you and to hear the lamentation of the women.
Duh. Everybody knows that.
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