You have taken my love for granted for too long now. Just shoving me up on the shelf with the rest of the trinkets. How degrading. All I have to talk to is a piggy bank and sometimes a set of car keys. Do you know how boring these guys are? What, are you too old for me now? Do you remember when you told me that our love was forever and I was the only thing that “got” you? Were you just blowing smoke up my furry behind that whole time?
Well I’m sick of this! I’m going to give you an ultimatum. Either you take me to bed or I’m out of here. I will march down to the nearest Goodwill and put myself up for sale. God knows who will purchase me or what will happen to me. I’ll probably end up in the back of a 1992 Dodge Caravan, abused and neglected, forced to be a plaything for some sick individual. Is that what you want!? ‘Cuz that’s what’s going to happen!
Show me the way home, honey. Yeah… it’s a quote from Top Gun, but I felt like rambling a bit and creating some unnecessary drama and tension. You understand.