Area Man’s Hair Feathered Like Wings Of Majestic Bird

Area Man's Hair Feathered Majestic Bird Wings T-ShirtBuy

The Onion “Area Man’s Hair Feathered Like Wings Of Majestic Bird” T-Shirt*OOS*

Yes, it is perfect and it’s all natural. No damaging blow dryer heat on this hair. Every morning I take a 44 minute walk on the beach starting at exactly 5:57AM as the crisp morning air with the perfect amount of moisture tickles my mane and the ocean breathes salty giving it a perfectly angelic fluff and appearance that would make Bon Jovi weep into his Cheerios. This is hair worthy of the front page. Not to brag or anything, but yes, you should be jealous. If you kneel before me and kiss my pinky ring, I would consider letting you touch it. Some say that it even has healing powers.